Flour, flour everywhere, and not a speck to eat...

One of the things I was most upset about when I found out I have Celiac was losing my spontaneity. Gone were the days of "you wanna just order out?" After all, the Chinese place might be using soy sauce with gluten in it, burgers have buns, fries can be coated, and pizza is made of wheat. Lots of it. So I was really happy to find out that Dominos has a gluten free pizza. Until today.

On Saturday, we went to a party. They ordered pizza and, in deference to me, got it from Dominos so I could get a gluten free crust. It was delicious. Saturday night, I had stabbing pains in my abdomen, but I figured it might be from some veggies I'd had earlier (my IBS gives me trouble when I have too much fiber). Yesterday, I had the leftovers from Saturday, and was sick to my stomach. I still hadn't quite put it together and was back and forth between a few things (sure, I probably should have figured it out then, but who wants to give up being able to grab pizza once in awhile?).

Then, today, my boss bought us all lunch. Again, we got Dominos so I could have a gluten free crust. Again, it was delicious. And then tonight I was obnoxiously sick. I mean my insides holding kick-boxing matches with steel-toed boots kind of sick. The only thing in common those three days is the pizza. When I looked on Dominos site, I saw a warning that their gluten free pizza is prepared in their regular kitchen, where they prepare everything else. The warning even states that they don't recommend their pizza for anyone with Celiac.

Mind you, I don't expect Dominos to buy space for another kitchen so I can eat pizza. But the gluten-free point is kind of defeated if the whole thing gets coated with flour during the prep process. Long story short (even though I've already told the long version), if you're just avoiding gluten to be healthy, you might be OK with this. You'll also be ok with this if you're just eating gluten free to make it easier on your wife (even if my husband does hate Dominos). I know people who are. But if you have Celiac, you might be better off buying Amy's (also prepped in a facility that processes wheat, but I had no reaction), or making your own crust. Great alternative? This recipe - with a portabello mushroom as your crust.

Hair-apy

There are a lot of things to think about when you have to be gluten free. You have to change the way you grocery shop, the way you cook, the way you dine out, and the way you...do your hair?

Yup. Your hair products might be a problem. Ever been bored and read the ingredients on your shampoo or conditioner bottle? No? Ok, that's just me then. *Cough* Moving on. One of the ingredients that makes your hair so silky and shiny is hydrolized wheat protein. Key word - wheat. As the forum thread above shows, there is something of a debate as to whether avoiding this is 100% necessary. But I'm with one of the commentors - why take the chance when there are so many products without it?

My mother (who is also one of the 5 people who read my blog - hi mom!) is a phenomenal hair dresser. And I can say with a great degree of certainty that if she hadn't been a hair dresser, I'd have had to choose between going to college OR getting my hair dyed the 8 million times that I have. The latest perk in having a beautician for a mom is that she's the one who pointed out to me that I might have to watch my beauty regimen. But she also offered a solution for anyone who wants to be sure they have the very best in hair care, while still taking care of their health.

Enter Surface Hair Care. Surface uses a variety of natural extracts that make your hair silky, shiny, smooth, and shampoo-commercial-worthy without using hydrolized wheat protein. I will admit, I've never used the products personally (unless Mom used them on me at the salon and I just wasn't paying attention), but according to Mom, they are amazing.

Some of you may be thinking "well sure, SHE can afford salon products - her mom can buy them for her. What about the rest of us?" Or maybe no one thinks that, but I'll answer anyway.

I don't often use salon products. I get them as a special treat sometimes for birthdays, Christmas, etc, but on a regular basis - especially now that my grocery shopping is more expensive - I stick with what's good, but super cheap. I can't speak for any of the major brands - VO5 (which I won't use except as body wash because it ruins your hair), White Rain, Suave, etc. I don't use any of those because my hair is particularly prone to breakage, so I prefer a shampoo and conditioner without sulfates and parabins.

Fortunately, my sister had told me awhile back about sulfate/parabin free products that cost about $5 for a 25 oz salon-style pump bottle at WalMart - Simply U.  To be fair, I only have the moisturizing formula to check the label on right now. But it uses hydrolized rice protein, so it's safe. And it's amazing, especially for something so cheap.

So whether you have to have your salon products, or you just want  to pick something up while you're grocery shopping, there are plenty of good options out there. And if you find another - let me know!

"One last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer..."

I don't know about any of you, but I'm a whiskey girl. Always have been. Anything from Wild Turkey to Crown Royal. I don't drink very often, but when I do, that's what I drink. So when it was pointed out that I can't have it anymore, I was a little bummed. (Although I'm sure my husband and father-in-law are secretly thrilled that I can't touch their Crown - my FIL doesn't drink anything else.)

And that also got me thinking - I know I can't have whiskey, bourbon, beer, or any other malt beverage. But what about mixed drinks? Or liqueurs? No one's really in a hurry to kill a buzz before it starts by slapping a "Gluten Free" label on before the bottles leave the factory. I was able to determine through judicious use of Google whether most of my mixed drinks had gluten. But I couldn't find anything about my John DeKuyper & Sons Chocolate Mint Crave (which, by the way, is to die for in hot chocolate). So I wrote to DeKuyper. I told them I'd been diagnosed with Celiac, and asked if the Crave was gluten free. I expected either no response, or maybe just the word "yes" or "no." Boy was I ever surprised. This is the full text of their response :

Dear Stephane,
 

The ingredients in the following products are not produced from cereals containing 
gluten and do not contain gluten.

DeKuyper Alabama Slammer Ready to Drink Shots 40°

DeKuyper Cherry Pucker Schnapps Imitation Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Crème De Banana 48°

DeKuyper Grape Pucker Schnapps Imitation Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Lemon Drop Ready to Drink Shots 40°

DeKuyper Peachtree Peach Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Peachtree Peach Schnapps Liqueur 43°

DeKuyper Peppermint Schnapps Liqueur 100°

DeKuyper Peppermint Schnapps Liqueur 60°

DeKuyper Pomegranate Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Sex on the Beach Ready to Drink Shots 40°

DeKuyper Sloe Gin 40°

DeKuyper Watermelon Pucker Schnapps Imitation Liqueur 30°

John DeKuyper & Sons 03 Orange Liqueur 80°

John DeKuyper & Sons Crave Chocolate Mint

John DeKuyper & Sons Crave Chocolate Cherry

John DeKuyper & Sons Crave Chocolate Chili

The alcohol in the following products is produced from the fermentation and 
distillation of wheat.

DeKuyper Amaretto Schnapps Liqueur 42°

DeKuyper Amaretto Schnapps Liqueur 56°

DeKuyper Anisette 60°

DeKuyper Apricot Flavored Brandy 60°

DeKuyper Berry Fusion Pucker Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Blackberry Flavored Brandy 70°

DeKuyper Blue Curacao 48°

DeKuyper Blueberry Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Buttershots Butterscotch Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Cherry Flavored Brandy 60°

DeKuyper Coffee Flavored Brandy 60°

DeKuyper Coffee Schnapps Liqueur 53°

DeKuyper Cranberry Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Crème De Almond 48°

DeKuyper Crème De Cacao Dark 48°

DeKuyper Crème De Cacao White 48°

DeKuyper Crème De Cassis 40°

DeKuyper Crème De Menthe Green 60°

DeKuyper Crème De Menthe White 60°

DeKuyper Ginger Flavored Brandy 60°

DeKuyper Hazelnut Schnapps Liqueur 56°

DeKuyper Hot Damn Hot Cinnamon Schnapps Liqueur 100°

DeKuyper Hot Damn Hot Cinnamon Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Hot Damn Hot Cinnamon Schnapps Liqueur 48°

DeKuyper Island Punch Pucker Schnapps Imitation Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Kamikaze Ready to Drink Shots 40°

DeKuyper Kirschwasser Flavored Brandy 90°

DeKuyper Melon Schnapps Liqueur 46°

DeKuyper Michigan Cherry Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Mixed Berry Medley Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Orange Curacao 60°

DeKuyper Peach Flavored Brandy 60°

DeKuyper Peach Pucker Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Razzmatazz Schnapps Liqueur 33°

DeKuyper Red Apple Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Red Headed Ready to Drink Shots 40°

DeKuyper Rootbeer Schnapps Liqueur 45°

DeKuyper Sour Apple Pucker Schnapps Imitation Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Spearmint Schnapps Liqueur 60°

DeKuyper Strawberry Pucker Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Strawberry Patch Schnapps Liqueur 45°

DeKuyper Triple Sec 30°

DeKuyper Triple Sec 48°

DeKuyper Tropical Coconut 42°

DeKuyper Tropical Pineapple Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Vanilla Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Watermelon Squeeze Schnapps Liqueur 30°

The primary alcohol source in the following products are produced from the fermentation
and distillation of cereals containing gluten such as rye, barley, oats, wheat, etc..

DeKuyper Cactus Juice Margarita Schnapps Liqueur 30°

DeKuyper Raspberry Pucker Schnapps Imitation Liqueur 30°

The primary and secondary alcohol sources in DeKuyper Washington Apple Ready to
Drink Shots do not contain gluten. A portion of the other ingredients in this product
were produced from cereals containing gluten such as rye, barley, oats, wheat, etc.

We like hearing from our consumers, so thanks again for contacting us. Have a great day.

So there you have it - every single DeKuyper product, and which are gluten free. I'm officially declaring DeKuyper to have a truly delightful customer service team. And I will definitely keep buying their product, no matter how sad I am that I can't have Apple Pucker anymore.

Some Things Never Change

I'm not going to lie (I will never lie to you in this blog, actually. I'll omit things like crazy, but I'll never lie...) - I got way overly excited at the thought of dinner tonight. Why, you ask? Because I realized that one of my favorite foods didn't require any modification to be gluten free: stuffed mushrooms.

Now, there are a lot of ways to do stuffed mushrooms, and a LOT of them have breadcrumbs. I've always hated putting breadcrumbs in mine because I'd rather have less cohesive stuffing that's all delicious sausage, herbs & cheese, and no filler. So I decided to include the recipe here. And this is the part where you're going to get upset with me. I don't measure. Anything. Ever. To me, cooking is art. I add until it looks, smells, feels, or tastes right. So while I will hazard guesses as to how much I used, you may have to experiment a little. But as far as I'm concerned, that's half the fun of cooking.

Sausage Stuffed Mushrooms a la Stephane

Ingredients:

• Two packs of large stuffing mushrooms (I do these with regular-sized mushrooms, too, but the stuffing ones are a lot easier)
• Two cloves of garlic - chopped
• 2-3 Tbsp parmesan cheese
• Ground sausage (I seriously just buy the turkey breakfast sausage and season/grind it myself - it has WAY less fat, and I think it tastes better. If you do this, the seasoning I use is just oregano, basil, and occasionally thyme)
• 3 Tbsp-ish of red wine (I seriously just pour it - put in as much as you want. I just assume this is about what I used)
• 3-4 Tbsp balsalmic vinegar

Get creative with the liquids. You want to use white wine? Go for it! You think some Worcestershire sauce would be good in these? It probably would. Like I said, cooking is art. And Pollock certainly wasn't worried about making a mess.

Directions:

• Pre-heat oven to 325
• Pull the stems from the mushrooms - gently, so you don't crack the caps. Throw these in your food processor. (Note: if you don't have a food processor, you'll just have to have fun chopping everything willy-nilly by hand. Before I had a food processor, I did. It just makes slightly chunkier filling)
• Place mushroom caps open-side up (I feel like maybe that last part isn't totally necessary to tell you...) on a baking pan. I always line mine with foil because I HATE scrubbing pans. I was able to fit 16 on my large baking pan, with plenty of space in between.

• Add sausage, seasonings, cheese, garlic, wine (reserve 1 Tbsp), and vinegar (reserve 1 Tbsp) to the food processor with the mushroom stems, and pulse until a crumbly, soft mixture forms.
• Spray a pan with cooking spray, or heat 2 Tbsp of oil in it. Add the filling, along with the rest of the liquid - a lot can get absorbed while it cooks.
• Saute filling until it's browned, the liquid has mostly cooked off, and your kitchen smells so good you're almost willing to burn your tongue by just eating the filling out of the pan.
• Place filling in the mushroom caps. I use a round measuring spoon (Tbsp for these, tsp for smaller mushrooms), just because it fits the shape of the caps better and does a better job than a regular spoon.

 

• Place pan in the oven and cook for 50 minutes.
• Remove, and let cool slightly before eating.

While these were cooking, I made the quinoa/corn rotelle that I bought yesterday, and heated some marinara on the stove. Stuffed mushrooms pair perfectly with pasta. Also, I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that I actually like this pasta better than regular pasta. Here's the finished meal:

 

 

Needless to say, now I'm stuffed.

 

 

On another note, the countdown to my apartment being gluten-free has begun. I made a list entitled "Enemy Targets on Friendly Soil - By Sector" for Mike. Every food in the apartment that contains gluten is on the list, divided by where it is in the kitchen. I even put everything with gluten left on the actual left side of each of the cupboards and the fridge. Yes, I'm a huge dork. But everyone who already knows me knows that already. And if you didn't, well, you'd have found out soon anyway.

The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of...crouton crumbs?

I had already decided yesterday that today would be the inaugural gluten free grocery shop. I knew I'd feel better once I had pasta I could eat in the apartment. And something happened this morning that cemented that desire. I was checking out the Celiac support group that my boss had mentioned, and I found their page with gluten free restaurant menus. "Awesome!" I thought - I can still eat at Bravo, etc. But then I saw this paragraph in the tips on the side:

"Salad: REQUEST that no croutons, breadsticks or crackers be placed on or near your plate. Ideally, your dining companions will request no croutons as well so that a crouton does not accidentally get bumped onto your salad from an overloaded serving tray on the way to your table."

In case you're not getting my emphasis there, the crumbs from one crouton getting on my salad could cause me harm. It seemed extreme, until I actually paid attention to what I'd already read above. Celiac is not an allergy - it's an autoimmune disease. That part I didn't know - see previous posts on my unsympathetic, brusque doctor. Any time gluten enters my body, it's basically going Leonidis on the villi in my small intestine. It keeps me from absorbing nutrients, and can lead to a whole host of other problems. At this point, knowing I'll be living in fear of stinking crouton crumbs, I became a little depressed. So I decided it was definitely time to go grab some gluten free goodies.

I'm not going to tell you what I spent. Everyone should get to experience that particular heart attack on their own. Some of the things were on sale, though, and I got a relatively decent price on gas. I've got some gluten free sandwich cookies, bread, rice pasta, quinoa pasta, pretzels, and a few other random items. So far, the only thing I've tried is the bread. It's Schar brand, for whatever that may mean to anyone. The texture isn't the best (a bit thick/dry), and it falls apart easily. Although in fairness to the bread, I did put about three inches of meat and veggies between it. I tend to strain sandwiches. It's not horrible though. I'll keep you updated once I've actually tried the rest.

Bottom line? I was right - knowing that I have so many more gluten free foods available in my apartment does make me feel better. Of course, the Crock Pot full of chili doesn't hurt either...


Update: I tried the snacks. The verdict is:

• Blue Diamond Almond Nut Thins - Hint of Sea Salt: taste a bit like sesame crackers. Good, but I missed something on the label when I bought them. They're processed in a facility that processes wheat products. There may be cross contamination. I might donate these to Mike, given that his gluten free diet is optional.
• Glutino pretzel twists: AMAZING! I even like these better than regular pretzels. And the hubby, who is a huge pretzel fan, likes them as much as I do. These are also milk, casein, and egg free.
• KinniTOOS vanilla sandwich creme cookies: the cookie portion is a little crispier than you'd expect, but otherwise they taste pretty much the same. These are also dairy & nut free.

I Have to Do What With My Pasta?

As promised, here it is from the beginning. Starting with March of 2011. 

In the beginning, there was pain...

When I first started working for my current company, I was part time. I was just happy to have a job at all, having recently graduated and not having the easiest time finding jobs. To supplement my income, I took a night/weekend job doing what I did in high school - working as a cashier for a certain store that one of my old customers always called "The Big A** Bird." At least part of that involved lifting heavy items whenever customers ignored the sign that says to leave them in the cart so we could use the hand scanner. So when I got a horrible pain in my lower abdomen, my husband (then fiance) suggested it might be a hernia. Which is good because otherwise I never would have gone to the doctor. I've had IBS for years, and tend to go with the "suck it up" philosophy on stomach pain.

Then came the scalpel...

What the doctor found was an ovarian cyst (I know, nothing to do with gluten, but stay with me - I'll get there).  I was put on medications, but mostly I just used a heating pad. My stomach swelled up horribly, but about 3 weeks later the pain and bloating were gone. A few months afterward, it happened again. Again I used the heating pad. This went on for over a year. Then, 4 days into my honeymoon, it started again. Only this time, it didn't go away. So I went to a specialist. The specialist said cysts wouldn't cause all of that, and I probably had endometriosis. I can't even tell you how much that scared me - anyone who's met me for 2 minutes can feel the baby fever baking off of my skin. So I had surgery that found - you guessed it - a fat lot of nothing. 

And then I listened to my body.

Next stop was the GI doctor (I was also prepared to go to a voodoo priest at this point if necessary - I was in pain all of the time, and I was exhausted no matter how much I slept from the stress on my body). I was praying for this doctor to find something, if only so I could stop wearing maternity pants (yes, the bloating was really that bad - and, no, it wasn't just fat. It came and went with the pain). My doctor examined me for literally 5 minutes, and said it was probably my abdominal wall, and I should just put heat on it. The bloating, he said, was from eating high fodmap foods. The two were unrelated, he said, and just happened to coincide. I was rushed out of the office, and barely had time to think.

I break there because this is important. My doctor wanted to stop there. No tests. No more questions. No exploration. Just 5 minutes, this is what it is, suck it up and go home. My gut told me (no pun intended there) that he was wrong. I e-mailed the next day and said that if he wanted to stick with that diagnosis, I would be getting a second opinion. He then magically decided to schedule me for a colonoscopy/endoscopy, or, as I like to call it, the shish-kabob. The test found trace indicators that I may have Celiac. So I went for a blood test. Which first got sent out incorrectly, so I waited awhile for my results.

The results came to me in the form of a phone call from my doctor at 8:00pm on Tuesday. And I have to say, nothing is more reassuring than your doctor calling you at that time of night. He very impersonally and with no empathy or compassion explained that I had Celiac, and that if I didn't follow the diet, I could get tumors, rheumatoid arthritis, or osteoporosis. Thanks, Doc. That part is important too - a lot of people think "oh, so you get a little sick to your stomach if you eat it. C'mon, just have a little. It won't kill you." Maybe not - but there are extremely serious consequences, and a tummy ache is by far the least of them.

I started to cry  (I know, it sounds stupid, but I'm Italian and had just found out I can't eat most of my grandmother's cooking ever again. If you'd ever had her breaded cutlets, you'd cry, too), and wandered around the apartment marking everything with gluten in it with an "X." That's where Mike (my husband) came in. He said he'd go gluten free with me (at least when he's at home), and we put everything in bags to donate. I have to say, knowing that he'd be doing this with me was the first thing to make this a little easier.

So what now?

I'm still really up and down about this. On the plus side, I feel better today than I have in a really long time. On the negative, I couldn't eat anything but cucumber slices at the reception after my CLE last night (yes, I'm an attorney, but please don't hold it against me). I do, however, have a ton of support. My brother-in-law's aunt has been gluten free for 10 years - long before gluten free foods were readily available - and she said I can e-mail her any time. The first thing she recommended was brown rice pasta, which I'll be buying this weekend. 

Then, today, my boss told me that the Cavs have a Celiac awareness night, which she found out by checking out a support group in my area for me. My sister, who is very health-conscious is a big supporter, and of course, my husband. He even made himself late for work the day after I found out to pack me a gluten free lunch.

This isn't going to be easy, but it will be WAY easier than it would have been even 3-4 years ago. Also, yes, I know, I just broke my no long posts rule horribly. Stick with me anyway - we'll figure it out together. 

Thank God Almighty, I'm Diagnosed at Last!

Today is the first day in 6 months that I haven't felt bone-weary, up for 48 hours, falling over exhausted. So I thought it would be the perfect time to start my blog. See, I've been struggling with a host of horrible symptoms on and off for the last year and a half (completely on for the last 6 months). Medical testing, hospital stays, office visits, and even surgery happened before I finally found out three days ago what was going on. I'm sure you can tell from the blog title - I have Celiac's Disease. 

I know that the last 5 years have seen amazing leaps in awareness around the issue, gluten free foods, blogs, cookbooks, etc. But I haven't seen one yet that starts from the beginning. So that's what I'm doing. Sharing the symptoms I had, the procedures I went through, and how I reacted when I found out. Once that's out of the way, I'll probably update about twice a week. You can follow along while I figure all of this out. I'll post recipes, reviews of products and restaurant foods that are gluten free, and I'll probably make a lot of sarcastic observations. Starting with the fact that all of this is made easier by the fact that wine doesn't have gluten in it.

No one wants to read a ridiculously long blog post - and I don't want all of my comments to be tl;dr. I mean, I'm pretty awesome. But in this day and age, between Twitter and Facebook, I'm aware that even I can't hold your attention for that long. So now that you know what I'm here for, I'll leave the details about all of the above to the next post. See you in a few!